STRESS
What is stress?
The Body’s Stress Response
Stress is a normal physical response to events.
When you sense danger—whether it’s real or imagined—the
body's defenses kick into high gear in a rapid,
automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight-or-freeze”
reaction, or the stress response.
Modern life is full of hassles, deadlines, frustrations, and demands. For many
people, stress is so commonplace that it has become a way of life.
Stress is defined as “The rate of wear and tear
on the body”. Increased stress can accelerate
many aspects of the aging process. “Everyone
feels what stress is, but nobody really knows
what stress is.” Many times we create our own
stress because of faulty perceptions.
When you perceive a threat, your nervous system
responds by releasing stress hormones like adrenaline
and cortisol. These hormones prepares the body
for emergency action.
Stress is caused by two things. you think situations around you are worthy
of anxiety. And then it's how your body reacts to your thought processes.These
changes are best described as the fight or flight
response.
At times of danger mind bypass all our rational
thoughts. Priority is given to all physical functions
which provide more power to face an enemy or to
flee. To understand why stress can have negative
impacts on your health, you must first understand
the physiological changes that occur within your
body during the fight or flight response.
In the fight or flight response it quickly releases
hormones that help it to survive. these hormones
help us to run faster and fight harder. They
increase heart rate and blood pressure - delivering
more oxygen and blood sugar to power important
muscles. They increase sweating in an effort
to cool these muscles, and help them stay efficient.
They divert blood away from the skin to the core
of our bodies - reducing blood loss if we are damaged.
As well as this, these hormones focus our attention
on the threat, to the exclusion of everything
else. Breathing is accelerated to supply more
oxygen for conversion to energy. The heart moves
into overdrive to supply the body with more oxygen
and nutrients. Our immune system is activated,
ready to administer to wounds. Attention and
sight become acute and highly focused and our
sense of pain is diminished as the body releases
analgesic hormones.
This physiological aspect leaves us viewing the
world as a hostile place and we are fully prepared
to fight or run. Whichever one we choose, our body
will expend an immense amount of energy which in
itself prevents the build up of stress related
to this response.The stress response is the body’s
way of protecting you. When working properly, it
helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In
emergency situations, stress can save your life—giving
you extra strength to defend yourself. The stress
response also helps you rise to meet challenges.
But beyond a certain point, stress stops being
helpful and starts causing major damage to your
health, your mood, your productivity, your relationships,
and your quality of life.
The
most dangerous thing about stress is you get used
to it. It starts to feel normal. You don't notice
how much it's affecting you and it takes a heavy
toll.
Stress affects the mind, body,
and behavior in many ways. More stress lead to
serious mental and physical health problems.
Signs and symptoms of stress overload
The following table lists some of the common warning
signs and symptoms of stress..
Mental effects -
- Memory problems
- Inability to concentrate
- Poor judgment
- Seeing only the negative
- Anxious or racing thoughts
Emotional problems
- Constant worrying
- Moodiness
- Irritability or short temper
- Agitation, inability to relax
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Sense of loneliness and isolation
- Depression or general unhappiness
Physical problems
- Aches and pains
- Diarrhea or constipation
- Nausea, dizziness
- Chest pain, rapid heartbeat
- Loss of sex drive
- Frequent colds
Behavioral problems
- Eating more or less
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Isolating yourself from others
- Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
- Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax
- Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)
How much stress
is too much?
Because of the widespread damage stress can cause,
it's important to know your own limit. But just
how much stress is "too much" differs
from person to person. We're all different. Your
ability to tolerate stress depends on many factors,
including the quality of your relationships, your
general outlook on life, your emotional intelligence,
and genetics.
- Your supportive friends and family members
can be an enormous help against life’s stressors.
The more lonely and isolated you are, the greater
your stress.
- confidence in yourself and your ability to
influence events and persevere through challenges
likely to have more tolerance for stress.
- Your attitude and outlook, your Optimism to
embrace challenges, strong sense of humor, and
accept change is important for life.
- You’re extremely vulnerable to stress if you
don’t know how to calm and soothe your emotions when
you’re feeling sad, angry, or overwhelmed by
a situation. The ability to bring your emotions
into balance helps you from adversity and is
a skill that can be learned at any age.
- The more you know about a stressful situation,
the easier it is to cope.
Causes
of stress
anything that puts high demands on you or forces
you to adjust can be stressful. This also includes
positive events such as getting married, buying
a house, going to college, or receiving a promotion.
Stress can also be self-generated, for example,
when you worry excessively about something that
may or may not happen, or have irrational, pessimistic
thoughts about life.
What causes stress
depends on your perception of it. Something that's
stressful to you may not be for someone else;
they may even enjoy it.
external causes of stress |
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- Major life changes
- Work or school
- Relationship difficulties
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- Financial problems
- Being too busy
- Children and family
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internal causes of stress |
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- Chronic worry
- Pessimism
- Negative self-talk
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- Unrealistic expectations/Perfectionism
- Rigid thinking, lack of flexibility
- All-or-nothing
attitude
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Effects of chronic stress
The body doesn’t distinguish between physical
and psychological threats. When you’re stressed
over a busy schedule, an argument with a friend,
a traffic jam, or of bills, your body reacts just
as strongly as if you were facing a life-or-death
situation. If you have a lot of responsibilities
and worries, your emergency stress response may
be “on” most of the time. The more your body’s
stress system is activated, the harder it is to
shut off.
Long-term exposure to stress can lead to serious
health problems. Chronic stress disrupts nearly
every system in your body. It can raise blood pressure,
suppress the immune system, increase the risk of
heart attack and stroke, and speed up the aging process. Long-term stress
can even rewire the brain, leaving you more vulnerable
to anxiety and depression.
Many health problems
are caused or exacerbated by stress, including |
- Pain of any kind
- Heart disease
- Digestive problems
- Sleep problems
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- Depression
- Weight problems
- Autoimmune diseases
- Skin conditions, such
as eczema
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Dealing with stress and its symptoms
“Feeling loved is nature's antidote
to stress.”
unchecked stress is undeniably damaging. Unfortunately,
many people cope with stress in ways that only
compound the problem. You might drink too much
to unwind at the end of a stressful day, fill up
on comfort food, zone out in front of the TV or
computer for hours, use pills to relax, or relieve
stress by lashing out at other people. However,
there are many healthier ways to cope with stress
and its symptoms.
Since everyone has a unique response to stress,
there is no “one size fits all” solution to dealing
with it. No single method works for everyone or
in every situation. Focus on what makes you feel
calm and in control.
Learn how to manage stress
You may feel like
the stress in your life when out of your control,
but you can always control the way you respond.
Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking
charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule,
your environment, and the way you deal with problems. Stress
management involves changing the stressful
situation when you can, changing your reaction
when you can’t, taking care of yourself, and making
time for rest and relaxation.
Remember the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.
- Avoid unnecessary stress.
Not all stress can be avoided, but by learning
how to say no, distinguishing between “shoulds”
and “musts” on your to-do list, and be clear
of people or situations that stress you out,
you can eliminate many stressors.
- Alter the situation. If you
can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter
it. Be more assertive and deal with problems.
Instead of increasing your stress, let others
know about your concerns. Be more willing to
compromise and try meeting others halfway on
an issue.
- Adapt to the stressor. When
you can’t change the stressor, try changing yourself.
Reframe problems. Focus on the positive things
in your life. If some work has stressed you,
focus on the aspects of your job which you enjoy.
And always look at the big picture.
- Accept the things you can’t
change. There will always be stressors in life
that you can’t do anything about. Learn to accept
the inevitable rather than fight against a situation
and making it even more stressful. Look for the
upside in a situation—even the most stressful
circumstances can be an opportunity for learning
or personal growth. Learn to accept that no one
is ever perfect.
You can also better cope with the symptoms of
stress by strengthening your physical health.
- Set aside relaxation time in your daily
work.
- Exercise regularly. Physical
activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing
the effects of stress.
- Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished
bodies are better prepared to cope with stress.
Start your day with a healthy breakfast, reduce
your caffeine and sugar intake, and cut back
on alcohol and nicotine.
- Get plenty of sleep. Feeling
tired can increase stress by causing you to think
irrationally. Keep cool by getting a good night’s
sleep.
- Quick stress relief. The best
way to reduce stress quickly and reliably is
by using your senses—what you see, hear, smell,
taste, and touch—or through movement. By viewing
a favorite photo, smelling a specific scent,
listening to a favorite piece of music, tasting
a piece of gum, or hugging a pet, for example,
you can quickly relax and focus yourself. The
key is to use your senses and know what sensory
experiences work best for you.
- Emotional connection. Nothing
contributes more to chronic stress than emotional
disconnection from ourselves and others. Understanding
the influence emotions have on your thoughts
and actions is vital to managing stress. Life
doesn’t have to feel like a rollercoaster ride
with extreme ups and downs. Once you’re aware
of your emotions, the easier it is to understand
your own motivations, stop saying or doing things
you later regret, gain renewed energy, and smooth
out the ride.
Once you’ve mastered these core skills you’ll
have the confidence to face stressful challenges,
knowing that you’ll always be able to rapidly bring
yourself back into balance.
STRESS RELIEVING LESSIONS
1. CHANGE YOUR FOCUS: The words
“SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND” offer timeless wisdom
with profound implications. Simply put, we will
FIND whatever it is we’re SEEKING. In every situation,
there is good and bad happening at the same time.
Take this headline for instance:
BJP WIN THE SENATE. That is decidedly good news
if you’re a BJP...not so great if you are CONGRESS.
The headline is the same for both people reading
it. It’s the meaning they assign to it that gives
it its power. It’s the same with everything happening
around you. SEEK what could be good in a situation
instead of instantly gravitating toward what’s
WRONG. Believe me when I say this takes conscious
effort. If you look back at your life, some of
the hardest things you’ve gone through have had
some element of good that came of it, even if it
only served to make you more resilient and offer
experience that you’ve brought forward with you.
Our natural tendency is to notice what’s wrong.
If you don’t believe it, ask yourself, when was
the last time you woke up and said, “HEY! The electricity
is on today!” We expect that when we flip a switch
the light will go on...but we seldom notice it
until it doesn’t.
2. RESIGN AS GENERAL MANAGER OF THE UNIVERSE. When
my kids were living at home I woke up one morning
to a cartoon posted on the refrigerator that said,
“If you want peace in your life, resign as general
manager of the universe.” I think they were trying
to tell me something. It was true of me and I see
so many other people wearing the title. There are
things we must do, things we can do, and things
we just shouldn’t do. Among the things we just
shouldn’t do is trying to manage the universe.
We’re managing the universe when we think it’s
our job to run someone else’s life for instance.
So, let me simplify it for you.
3 STOP TRYING TO CHANGE EVERYONE INTO YOU.
If you’re trying to change someone...regardless
of what you may THINK, your motives are, you’re
probably trying to clone yourself. Ever notice
that people with “great taste” have YOUR TASTE?
If everyone were just like you, you would be completely
unnecessary. AND, believe it or not, most people
aren’t trying to annoy you. Most of them don’t
even notice that you’re annoyed. My kids were right!
This one made a huge difference.
4. STOP WAITING FOR “THINGS TO CHANGE.” Things
don’t change, PEOPLE change. If there’s something
bothering you about your current situation, don’t
assume you can just wait it out and it will suddenly
become what you want it to be. Change happens as
a direct result of ACTION. The only action you
can absolutely control is your own. You can take
action to refocus and see the good in the situation,
leave the situation, or take action to improve
the situation. Sometimes we “feel” helpless to
leave or change our circumstances, but there is
ALWAYS something we can do. SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND.
5. TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. One
of the biggest myths ever sold to us by Hollywood
is the idea that someone will come along and MAKE
US HAPPY. Complete nonsense. How can we expect
anyone else to know what it is that will make us
happy? A lot of the time, we’re not even sure ourselves
what makes us happy. Even if others did know, who
died and left them in charge of it? People who
depend on the actions of others for their happiness,
end up bitter and disappointed. Their relationships
suffer because those in their lives feel pressure
to continuously fill a bottomless pit.
6. JUST SAY NO. A two letter word
that can change your life and is so totally underused.
Many people say yes to things they have no interest
or desire to do because they believe saying no
makes them seem unkind and therefore unlikeable.
The truth is just the opposite. When we say yes,
when we really mean no, two things happen: first,
we become resentful of the request and toward the
requestor, and second, we DO become unlikeable...to
ourselves. FYI: being resentful does NOT make us
more likable. I have a new motto that has helped
reduce my own stress thereby making me a much happier
person: If I can’t say YES with PASSION, I will
say NO without APOLOGY. Feel free to adopt it.
It’ll bring you one step closer to living an authentic
lifewhich is ALWAYS less stressful.
7. JUST SAY YES. Seek
and find things that
you enjoy and that
fill you up. Denying
your own needs has
the same effect as
saying yes when you
mean no. It’s just
another way to become
resentful and bitter.
Say yes to causes that
inspire you. Say yes
to taking time with
loved ones. Say yes
to that good book you’ve wanted to read. Saying
yes enough is just
as important as saying
no enough. Each leads
to greater inner peace
and allows you to give
from your heart-which always feels wonderful and
reduces stress. Even
working twice as hard
on something you choose,
or that inspires you,
will feel like half
the burden of something
you’ve taken out of
fear, intimidation,
or obligation.
8. ASK. Asking
is an under used muscle
that needs a good workout.
Our ASSUMING muscles
are usually over developed
however. We ASSUME
that people know what
we need or want. We
have ridiculous thoughts like “if they loved me
they’d know and I wouldn’t have to ask.” This is
the second biggest myth we’ve adopted from who
knows where. The truth is unless you can read minds,
you have no business assuming that anyone else
can either. Asking for what we need or want improves
our odds of getting it by 100%. Keep in mind it’s
within everyone’s right to say no to our requests,
but if we don’t ask, “No” is always going to be
the answer by default.
9. LET GO. Examine your life for
ways that you’re holding on to the past that could
be ruining your present and threatening to destroy
your future. Being alive means living in an imperfect
world, with imperfect people, while being imperfect
ourselves. We will get hurt. Sometimes by design
and sometimes just by means of others exercising
their preferences. Those things sting but don’t
have to scar. Hanging on to past pain and resentment
takes an enormous amount of energy. It saps you
of mental and physical strength that you need to
handle current tasks and responsibilities. It’s
been said that holding a grudge is like drinking
poison and hoping the other person dies. It will
destroy you while those who have hurt you have
already moved on.
10. GIVE AWAY WHAT YOU WANT. I
know. That sounds crazy, but hear me out. We get
what we give. If you want more love, be more loving.
If you want to be respected, be more respectful.
We teach people how to treat us-usually by how
we treat them. Does this work on a case by case
basis? Not always. Saying if you’re kind to X then
X will be kind to you is a way to disappoint yourself
early and often-but played out in the grand scheme
of things it absolutely does work. You attract
into your life not what you WANT, but what you
ARE. In order to bring good things to you, you
must give what you most want to receive.
11. DECIDE. This
is a BIG one. Decide what it is that you want your
life to look like, feel like, and be about. Happiness
is an elusive more so when you don’t know what
it looks like. Trying to be happy without knowing
what it is that makes you happy is like shooting
arrows into the woods. Without a target, how will
you know if you’re getting any better? Nothing
is more stressful than feeling like you’re spinning
your wheels and getting nowhere. I love the quote,
”If you don’t know where you’re going, pretty much
any road will get you there.” A happy life is a
life lived on purpose with direction. You get one
shot at a great life. Don’t fire a blank!Unlike
exercising, getting more sleep, and eating well,
I hope you’ll give these things a try. You’ve got
nothing to lose but stress.
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